There is a level above mine. Ayn Rand showed it to me, in Atlas Shrugged. It's one thing to know that you are more capable than others – it is another to act upon it. I am finished being uncertain. I am done being forgiving of the weak. I am not going to be weak any more. I'm done standing still – I have to move forward, or I'll consume myself. I'll stop agreeing with people I don't respect. I will let no one take advantage of me.

I will make myself better than those who litter the planet, in action as well as mind. I've convinced myself that I am better than them; I have nothing left to do but to show them.

Over the pain and I'm
Past the bleeding
It's not the tracks
It's where they're leading

-Lemonheads

I have the potential to be a very great person if I quickly begin to act on it.

Everybody can't be happy. Don't try to make them.

People condemn me for being right. The truth should have more power.

I just realizes that I can pick out people's voices that I haven't heard in years, but I don't know my own voice.

I reread a lot of stuff I had written in this book. It's full of contradictions and falsehoods. Atlas Shrugged has cleared up so much. When I read most things, they try to tell me things I've already figured out. Atlas Shrugged is the first thing that has taught me in a long time.

Last night I was really worn out. I didn't get enough sleep and I knew that the next day would be hell. I just wanted to stay home. I knew I'd be miserable. I woke up this morning, weights all over me. I couldn't get up. I felt like shit. Then I thought of Francisco D'Anconia. I knew I had the strength to carry the leeches. I knew that lack of sleep was of no consequence. I got right up, a smile on my face. Here I am, gliding through the day. These people can't hold me down.

I'd really like to have an older girlfriend. Of course, older to me is like 22.

Just before aunt Margaret died, we talked. Her and Terry and me. She agreed with my decision not to go to university. She said I scared her, because I seemed to have everything figured out. I knew what she had figured out too late. She read some manga (Rumiko Takahashi's Mermaid stuff) and talked about it seriously. She took me seriously. It hurts a little, when I think of how proud I'll make her and what we'll talk about in heaven, when I suddenly realize that that won't happen. She's not watching me from heaven right now. She's dead. Her whole world is nothing but black and old bones. However selfish my motives for seeing her again, I'd like to. Perhaps if we'd talked more we'd have found things to disagree about. But I didn't know her well, and we always agreed. It would make it a lot easier if I did believe her spirit was still alive somewhere. I understand why people believe. I just don't understand how they believe.

"You can't help who you fall in love with."

Yes you can.

My homeroom teacher posted a note saying, "What we laugh at reveals our character." I laughed at it.

There is a girl I know through the Resort, named DagnyTaggart (guess how we met) who, though only 15, is very wise. She fancies herself an objectivist, and I respect her more than most.

We discussed government one night, disagreed a little, and moved on to the school system. I claimed that I had no use for it, and made many passionate arguments, while she claimed that I needed school. Before long, she agreed with me. Normally, this would cause me to become slightly disgusted with the agreeing party. This time it made me feel good. Dagny is different from most people. When we started talking about government, she asked, "Do you know why we need government?" in the way she always does, coming across as if she knows the answer and she knows that she's right. It's very refreshing and wonderful that she thinks enough of me to listen to my side, and then decide that I am right (Because I, of course, think that I know everything too). This is the foundation more friendships should be built on. Mutual respect.

I just realized – all these religious people who think they're going to heaven will never know that they're wrong. They'll be dead.

I imagine that if I were to see through humanity entirely, I would simply cease to function. I would see no point to doing anything. But what if I were to see through that?

I was reading an article in Newsweek about the 21st century. It described how new organs will be able to be grown in a laboratory, how electronic sight will be given to the blind, how dna will be used to solve innumerable problems, and so on. I thought to myself how wonderful it will be to see these advancements, when I realized that I will likely not be alive. My own mortality hit me hard. It's like reading a story that I'll never be able to finish. There is no way around it.

When someone acts consistently irrationally, s/he is often asked to "stop acting so childishly". (Oddly enough, children are told this most often.) They are so referred because young children often refuse to acknowledge basic reason. People soon tire of the "childish", for good reason.

Why is it then that when an entirely rational person comes along, they too are looked upon as a nuisance? How can anyone say, "Stop being so rational"?

The ignorance of the people I know angers me very much, but what hurts me the most is when I think about living in a free society. I am capable of it, and so is most every other person on this planet. Our society could be so beautiful... why is it so ugly?

"There's always an answer. There's a cure for cancer. I just haven't found it yet."

-Smudge